Where It All Began

I decided to start a blog to share the struggles and triumphs of being a single mother of twins. Although becoming increasingly common, multiple births are still a rare blessing.  A blessing that leaves the world as you knew it a glinting memory and brings a new world of double the work, double the chaos, double the stress, but double the love and joy!

Even more rare than a mother of twins is the mother who does it all on her own!  It’s rare, yes, but after reading various forum posts online, I do know that I am not alone!  There are quite a few woman out there doing the double duty of child raising and doing it solo!  So I decided to share my experiences as my children and I grow together in our crazy little family where the parent:child ratio is reversed from the norm!  And this is where the journey started:

I was 23 when my life started falling into place.  I started dating the man that would become my husband and started my career as a Correctional Officer all within three months of each other.  Due to work circumstances, I was forced to live two hours away from my new boyfriend and we maintained a long distance relationship for the first year and a half of our relationship.  After nine months, even though we were carrying out a long distance relationship, we were engaged.  We moved half way between our two homes and shared an apartment together while I commuted an hour each way to work every day.  While living in this apartment, we were married four years and one day after we had started dating.  Shortly after we were married, I finally received a transfer back home and we moved back to our original stomping ground.  This is when we decided to start a family, and where my heart started to break.

I had always wanted children very much.  I can remember as early as nine years old wanting to be a mother.  It seemed, however, now that I was ready to be a mother, it just wasn’t happening.  It took a year before we could even get an appointment to see a fertility specialist and that is when I received the biggest blow of my life – I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and it was not likely that I was going to be able to become pregnant and in the rare event that I did, it would more than likely end in a miscarriage.

All was not lost, however, because 22 months after initially trying to conceive, I received my first and only cycle of Clomid, which is a medication that induces ovulation.  It worked!  And boy did it ever work!  25 months after initially trying to conceive, at just eight weeks pregnant, I had my first ultrasound and received the news that would forever change my life – there were two babies!

The pregnancy was not an easy one!  I seemed to have every pregnancy symptom in existence at about double dose.  I felt like I went straight from the first trimester sickness to the third trimester discomfort with no glowing second trimester in between.  I also became very ill with pre-eclampsia (formerly known as toxemia.)  I gained 80lbs in the blink of an eye.  My entire body swelled up, my blood pressure went through the roof, I could barely breath because my sinuses swelled, and I developed sleep apnea.

As if expecting twins and being very ill wasn’t stressful enough as it is, one month before my babies were born, my husband was fired from his job because the company did not want to pay for his parental leave.  This was a really hard blow to take when we are about to face the most economically straining time of a couple’s lives!

At 35 weeks, my body had had all it could handle and was shutting down.  My OBGYN admitted me into the hospital and three days later, on Friday, April 13, 2012, my two beautiful boys were born via emergency cesarean section.  The older of the two (will be referred to as Esau throughout this blog) was born at 8:26am (on the right in photo at top of blog) and his little brother (to be referred to as Jacob) was born one minute later at 8:27am (on the left in photo at top of blog.)  I was extremely ill from the pre-ecampsia that had developed into eclampsia and the boys, although fairly healthy, were sent to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), also called the special care nursery, while they were monitored for Jaundice and blood sugar levels.

We began life as a family of four and my husband received his grade 12 diploma soon thereafter and began college when the boys were five months old.  When the boys were six months old, he moved his stuff out of the house and went to live with his mother and never looked back and I began my new adventures with my boys as a single mother.

It has been four months as a single mom now and it has definitely required a lot of planning and tactics, learning how to do things differently and just surviving the days, but even though I wish we could still share the generic family structure, I have enjoyed every minute of my boys’ lives so far single mom or not and it’s just getting started, so feel free to enjoy this wonderful ride with me!

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8 thoughts on “Where It All Began

  1. Your 3rd trimesters sounds a lot like mine. It is a hard road to travel when you are always outnumbered but you can do it.
    ~Courtney

  2. JohnZob says:

    Reminded me of a quote:
    It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. (c)Mark Twain site link

  3. Lara Weems says:

    Thank you for starting this blog! I love the cover names you gave your boys 😉 I am a single mom, but not to twins. My story is similar to yours– got married, had a baby, and when my daughter was 2 months old he left. She recently turned one, and I am so blessed to have her. Things will be hard, but it is so worth it. I’m looking for a community of single moms to band together with during the struggle, so I am subscribing to your blog! I also have a blog, the address is
    www. lara-mcnabb@blogspot.com 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your comment and encouragement! Looking forward to checking out your blog! It is definitely easier to get through the day when you have a good support network – especially when the people in that network are experiencing the same trials and triumphs as yourself!

  4. Sarah says:

    Hi, I too am a single mother of twins. My husband left me and our three children 6 months ago when our son was 11 (2 days away from starting secondary school) and my twins just 1 year old. He said life was too hard and stressful and he wanted fun.

    My husband was dating someone else 3 days later and had got her pregnant after 5 weeks. I have no family and friends where I live as we moved when the twins were about 7 months old to live near his family.

    If you feel like chatting my email addy is sarwee82 @gmail.com would be good to talk to someone else with similar experiences 🙂

    Sarah

    • Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah! It is very sad when a parent walks away from their family and responsibilities, and it takes a strong person to take over the roll of both parents. In the long run, it is likely best for the children who will only be surrounded by those who love them with their all and will provide only the best for them. I will definitely get in touch with you! You can also join our new facebook group single moms of multiples at https://www.facebook.com/groups/589982614414832/

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